PHD #279: What Do You Do With a Naked Nugget? Part Two
What Do You Do With a Naked Nugget? Part Two
Summary: The CAG sees a that which cannot be unseen.
Date: 02 Dec 2041 AE
Related Logs: What Do You Do With a Naked Nugget? Part 1
Players:
Cidra Shiner McCoy NPC 
Hangar Deck - Port - Midship - Battlestar Cerberus
The single largest rooms on the Cerberus are the hangar decks. Each flight pod consists of two stacked landing bays with adjoined decks and hangars, which along with computer-assisted landings results in a faster Viper recovery rate. Mirror images of each other, these two huge areas are located on the flight pods. The inboard sides of the deck, closest to the ship's main hull, are lined with parking and maintenance bays for Vipers and Raptors based aboard the battlestar. The outboard side of the deck contains the launch tubes used by the Vipers for standard deployment. Huge blast doors seal the deck into four sections, each one containing an elevator that leads up to the flight deck directly overhead. The fore-most section contains an elevator system that leads towards Aerospace Fabrication.
Post-Holocaust Day: #279

Cidra is getting ready for CAP. Flight suit on, helmet tucked under one arm, marching all of stately CAGness toward her waiting Raptor. "Skeeter, keep in mind the interference from the debris when flying around the moons," she comments to an ECO trotting along next to her. "Now that the thing is cleared for our flight again, we still need to avoid jumping at every nominal DRADIS ghost, yes?"

And as the Raptor door opens, well, Shiner can hardly hide, sitting on the ECO's chair, one arm cuffed up above him to a support, and yes, stark bollock naked. He does, at least, have the good graces to blush, his free hand shifting to cover his modesty while he attempts a game smile. Ahem.

The ECO, little blonde spitfire that is LTJG Dasiy "Skeeter" McCoy, is the first to spot Shiner (in all his glory) as they enter the Raptor. "Holy frak!" she exclaims, just staring, wide-eyed.

"Skeeter, let us get on with this, please…" Cidra starts to say, looking up and around from her pre-flight at the profanity. And then she sees it. Well, naked Shiner that is. First, she just boggles. Gaping. Mouth open. In disbelief. Then, she screams. A loud, long, high-pitched scream.

Well, if that wasn't guaranteed to get the deck crew over already, I don't know what would. Sure enough, the closest AEs make a dash for the Raptor in concern, while Shiner does his best, with a pained expression, to stop her. "Sir! Sir, shh! Please! Sorry, sir! You'll have them all over here!"

"Oh my gods…" Cidra gasps, looking pointedly *down* so she does not have to behold Shiner's glory any further.

Skeeter, on the other hand, just keeps boggling. "You could use some sun, kid," she sniggers.

The AE does stick her head into the Raptor, unimpeded by Cidra. And also screams, "Frakwhoa!" when she sees Shiner. Which, of course, makes more Deckies wander over to gawk. There will undoubtedly be quite a crowd around the Raptor soon.

Shiner lets out a long sigh, lifting his hand to rub at his temples. And then remembering himself and lowering his hand hurriedly once more to his groin area. "Frak's sake, what, you all want to take pictures or what? Some frakker going to let me free?"

If nothing else, the hangar deck is a place where metal cutting implements are within easy reach. The 'Frakwhoa' technician scurries off to get one. Given the expression on Cidra's face, which is wide-eyed, white and near-apopletic, the little knuckledragger doesn't need any urging to hurry. Cidra, meanwhile, splutters, "Wright…my gods…this is…I will…if you think you are setting a *toe* in one of my planes after this nonsense I will…Skeeter, stop it!"

The last snapped at the blonde ECO, who has half-collapsed against the wall of the Raptor in a fit of cackley giggles. Her "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" is almost louder than Cidra's original screaming.

Shiner glances between the two. The rage or the giggling. Which is worse? Who knows. "Sir!" he pleads with Cidra, doing his best to rise. "This isn't my fault, sir! You'll still let me fly, right? Sir? I didn't mean to be here!" He lowers himself shamefully to the seat once more as the tech returns with boltcutters and with a *snap*, his hand is free. Both hands now covering his groin, he rises from the seat and moves as far as he can into the shadows at the back of the Raptor's interior. "Um. Can somebody lend me some ovies?"

A sympathetic (and snorting) male deckhand does go to get Shiner a spare pair of coveralls. But he's not nearly as quick as the girl who ran for the metal cutters. So she returns to sever Shiner's cuffs while he's still naked.

"What in the gods' names do you mean you did not mean to be here!" Cidra bellows. And she can bellow when she wants. The CAG is not a barky creature, but she knows how to project her (usually far mellower) alto with feeling. "You are nude in my Raptor! How does one not *mean* to do this?"

Skeeter, meanwhile, is still snorting with giggles. But recovers herself enough to quip, "Uh, can I get somebody to spritz some cleanser on the seat? I don't want to come back from C-A-P with V-D."

Shiner winces, shrinking back from the rage. "Sir! I was… coerced, sir! Tricked!" he argues. "It's… uh… it was a prank, sir, I ended up on the wrong end of. It's not my fault! Honest!"

Cidra glares. Not at Shiner, mind. At the floor. But it is still a glare. "Who. Tricked. You?" The words are enunciated in a way that suggests she's trying very hard not to yell them. Meanwhile, Shiner is cut free and some coveralls (eventually) are delivered for him.

"Which end were you supposed to end up on, kid?" Skeeter sniggers. Then she collapses into another chorus of, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Shiner gratefully accepts the coveralls, pouring himself into them as fast as he can manage. Skeeter gets a roll of the eyes before he replies to Cidra, "It was one of the p" Stop. Pause. Think. "girls, sir. You know what they're like for practical jokes on the deck, sir. Sorry, sir," he adds, making to leave the Raptor. "Won't happen again, sir."

"Who. Did. This?" Cidra repeats, looking up at Shiner once his shame is covered. Directing the full force of her glare at him. "Tell me now, right, or I will bounce your pasty backside out of any chance of Nugget training and throw it in the brig! And then set you to cleaning the Head for a month with a toothbrush. And then…" She could probably go on for hours about the things she will do.

"No, sir! No! You wouldn't chuck me out of training, sir!? Would you?" Shiner burbles frantically, stopping dead in the force of that glare. "It was an accident, sir! Just a practical joke is all, sir! Please don't throw me out!"

"YOU WERE NAKED IN MY RAPTOR!" Cidra says that at a volume it is surprising human beings can attain. "You *clearly* have no sense of propriety or respect. Now tell me who did this and tell me *now*."

Shiner shrinks back, voice raising in pitch and panic. "I didn't mean to, sir! I got chained in here and then she took my clothes! It was an accident, sir! I'd never deliberately sit in your bird with my kit off, sir!"

"Who is *she*?" Cidra repeats, annoyance mixed with rage now. "I will not kick you out of training if you give me an honest answer to this, Wright."

"Get on with it, man. We've got to be up in the air," Skeeter chides, still smirking but she's managed to stop giggling. "And I need to get my seat sanitized. Because…eww, man. Just…eww."

Shiner pauses. "Sir, I can't just grass her up," he pleads, nose wrinkling as he considers. "Lieutenant Duncan said you've got to be able to trust your wingman, so I can't grass her up, sir!"

"SHE HANDCUFFED YOU TO A RAPTOR!" Cidra yells some more. Deep breath. She manages to take it down a notch. "She also well may have delayed the launch of CAP with this nonsense." Not that there still isn't plenty of time to get them in the air. But it's the principle of the matter. "In any case. I've a plane to fly. Get out of here, Wright, and stay *out* of my sims until I have dealt with this matter. I will leave Chief Damon to sort out the probably punishment for your…violation of battlestar equipment." That makes Skeeter laugh again.

"Yes sir," Shiner replies meekly, stumbling out of the door. "Sorry, sir." And then it's the walk of shame across the deck to various jeers and catcalls, face reddening with every step he takes.

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