PHD #145: Shit Tasking
Shit Tasking
Summary: Damon, Shiner, and Sofia joke about on the Deck. Mostly at Shiner's expense.
Date: 21 Jul 2041 AE
Related Logs: None.
Damon Shiner Sofia 
Hangar Deck - Port - Midship - Battlestar Cerberus
Post-Holocaust Day: #145
The single largest rooms on the Cerberus are the hangar decks. Each flight pod consists of two stacked landing bays with adjoined decks and hangars, which along with computer-assisted landings results in a faster Viper recovery rate. Mirror images of each other, these two huge areas are located on the flight pods. The inboard sides of the deck, closest to the ship's main hull, are lined with parking and maintenance bays for Vipers and Raptors based aboard the battlestar. The outboard side of the deck contains the launch tubes used by the Vipers for standard deployment. Huge blast doors seal the deck into four sections, each one containing an elevator that leads up to the flight deck directly overhead. The fore-most section contains an elevator system that leads towards Aerospace Fabrication.
Condition Level: 3 - All Clear

"What? Do you operate on the freak in the head, freak in the bed principle?" Sofia's eyes widen and she lifts her eyebrows. "I guess. But I'd be kinda sad. I'd either miss you or worry she beat me to the punch." She's near a Viper that's finishing refueling and chatting with Shiner.

"What? Nah, I'm just desperate," Shiner admits cheerfully, leaning up against the vehicle as he speaks. "If they're hotter than they are homicidal, it's totally worth the risk."

Sound the alarm, Damon On Duty! His orange coveralls don't look like they've been washed recently - they're still covered in grime and grease from old work even though he's just walking into work. Already, there's a stack of papers in his hand - and it's growing as people add to the pile while he walks through. "Sofie!" his booming voice calls out across the hangar floor, and he adjusts course to intercept. "What brings you down to Knuckledragger City?"

"If you're sure," Sofia tilts her head. She just smiles at Shiner. "I bet a girl will adore you soon." She believes in the Shiner! Sofia is in her duty garb, and looks ove rhearing her name boomed across the hangar floor. She smiles widely, obviously fond of the older deckie. "Hey! Not much. Checking the wires. Been shortage city all over the ship. Power on, power off…" Sigh. "I really wish they had contracted someone else." Pout. "Or I could say it was Shiner's gorgeous face and charm? How are you?"

"Totally my good looks and charm, PO," Shiner confesses, straight faced. "Sorry about that. I'll endeavour to be more ugly in future, for the sake of our electrics."

"Good looks, I'll buy, but charm?" Damon swats at Shiner with the stack of papers, now sizable enough to be a novel manuscript. "Either you're hurting for personalities in 3M, or you need your head checked." The good-natured jest is topped off with a broad grin. "Just need to tape your eyes a little wider open, that's all. You always look like you're trying to glare at a gnat a hundred paces off." He sticks his head out a bit forward with an exaggerated squint. "How's the wiring holding up down here? We've had our fair share of issues, but nobody's licked an outlet in… at least five days, now."

Heehee. Sofia grins at Damon and Shiner. "Again?" She sighs and keeps a smile. "Maybe you need glasses?" She considers at the squinting comment. Hmm. Sofia looks thoughtful. "So far so good. And I'm glad no one's licked an outlet. We ran out of candy syrup to coat them with days ago," She jokes lightly. "So far things look alright. I just wanted to be sure, since they recently got CIC back up and don't need to leave that Raptor going. I'm glad everything is okay. I see so many wires, I'm dreaming about them."

Shiner ducks the papers, rubbing at his arm when they nonetheless hit him. "Hey! I can be charming! If I so choose. Maybe I just don't choose to!" He wrinkles his nose, wiping his hands absently down his front. "What's on the list for today, PO? What thrilling excitement do you have for me, and if you say Henry I'm actually going to break down and weep."

"Well…" Damon drawls, making a show of perusing the paperwork. "I was gonna assign Bannik to Henry Duty, but since he's the Almighty Exalted Lord of the Mountain, I guess you still hold the enviable post of King Shit." From the stack of papers comes the daily task order for the latrines. "You know what happens when you start dreaming about wires," he intones to Sofia, shaking a warning finger. "Wires are just the gateway drug. Then you'll move to distribution panels and circuit breakers."

Heehee. Sofia smiles as Shiner tries to duck and comments on Henry. She watches the two a moment. "I already brought him a gift," She affirms. Then tries not to giggle at Shiner's post. Instead she gasps. "I know two Kings!" She curtsies, obviously being playful and nods at Shiner. "Well. You could tell girls you're … technically a king." Kinda. Hee. Sofia looks to Damon, then puts a hand to her chest. "Circuit breakers?! Then I could become… an /engineer/." THE HORROR. As if becoming such a thing were a tragic fate. "Why, I'd be a soulless shell of my old self." Queen Dramatic over here. "Actually, I feel like I've practically moved to Maitenance and Repair these days. Most paperwork is keeping track of things than anything else like before." Ponder. "It's still kind of fun to drop it on people though." Ponder.

Damon snorts and shakes his head. "I signed my soul away when I joined the Fleet. I thought it couldn't get worse until this shit started piling up." He raps his knuckles on the paperwork. "Ever since I started shouldering some of Atreus' load, I've spent most of my time wanting to set fire to the office and almost no time out on the floor working with a wrench. What do you think I gotta do to get busted back down to Crewman?"

"Poor fellow," Sofia is sympathetic to Damon. Then she scoffs and cackles. "I'm 3M. We help do logistics and inflict paperwork on people. All I need is like, a golden litter, some sparkling underpants and maybe a few minions when I go to drop stacks of paper," Sofia winks. "Actually, I've kind of lightened up on that. We all have. We keep track of things for security, but most of the old red tape is -" Well, senseless. She grins at Damon, "It must not be as much fun not seeing you out here. And hmm. Dunno. I think as punishment, they'd probably make you keep the job."

"Dude," Shiner replies immediately. "Sparkly underpants? If I find you some, you've so got to wear them."

Damon eyes Sofia. "You better not come down here to drop off paperwork. Or else I might start getting creative with how I plan on getting busted back down to Crewman." The sparkly underpants gets another humorous snort from him. "Don't take him up on that," he warns Sofia, jerking a thumb to Shiner. "I hear he's got panties with glittering gold hearts on 'em in his locker."

Shiner shakes his head, absolutely straight faced. "Lies, PO. I'm wearing them."

"No, I love you more than that," Sofia promises Damon. "Mostly." She flutters her eyelashes, trying to look innocent. But those horns are propping up the halo. She grins at the snort. She glances over to Shiner. "Oh, see. Now I really don't get why he's not got women chasing him all across the ship. He's such a winner. Sparkling underwear, an endearing squint, driving the poo truck…" Sofia lists off the young man's winning qualities. "Though I'll have to think of some other malevolent costume to wear while chasing people down with paperwork now."

"You're nothing but trouble, Mr. Wright, I knew it the moment you stepped foot on this Deck," Damon says, finger raised in an accusatory gesture at the man. "And the sparkly underwear only confirmed my suspicions. And - just Damon, no need for that PO shit with me, yeah?" When Sofia flutters her eyelashes at him, a hand goes over his chest in a 'shot through the heart!' motion. "And you're trouble of another kind altogether," he says to Sofia with a grin. "You think they'd let me canvas the civilians for a secretary? Then you can drop off whatever paperwork you want, so long's I don't gotta deal with it."

Shiner lifts a hand. "Hey, I'll swap Henry for paperwork any day of the week. You want a secretary? I'll volunteer, as long as poo truck driving becomes somebody else's job. Swap you, maybe?"

Sofia just smiles. She giggles at the shot through the heart gesture. "Maybe, actually. It would be a kindness to them. I couldn't imagine being stuck in one spot all day," Sofia considers. "And hey! I've been really nice about paperwork," She pouts and puts her hands on her hips. "Since I know the birds have been really demanding lately. I sign off what I can but… well, a Crewman's name only carry's so much weight." She closes one eye.

"I know, I know," Damon says to Sofia. "I'm just givin' you a hard time. Besides, you bring presents with the paperwork. Sometimes." He gives Shiner a sidelong glance. "I don't mind a secretary in glittering panties, but…" A contemplative stroke of the stubble on his jawline. "Well, on second thought, I don't know. How do you think he'd look in a low-cut shirt, short skirt, and heels?" Nudge nudge Sofia.

Shiner flutters his eyelashes for a moment, then snorts, shaking his head. "If I have to sleep with you, PO, then I'll just go back to sucking shit. Even I have limits."

Sofia smiles. "Much as I can," She nods. Sofia adores bringing supplies to the deckies. She considers Shiner too. "Oh. I think he'd be adorable. We'd just have to find him some nice mascara, something to accentuate the curves… maybe a pair of my heels," Sagenod. She is evil. Concentrated managerial evil. She quirks her brows, "I - too many jokes. Too many. You win this round." Defeated by Deck yet again.

"Eh? What'd I say about the charm, what, five minutes ago," Damon says, shaking his head. "Best to admire him from afar before he opens his mouth, this one." Pause. "Maybe I can get people to start calling the honey truck 'The Shiner' instead of 'Henry'," he muses aloud.

"Oh man… I quit," Shiner decides with a grin, rolling his eyes. "I'll leave you my overalls on the way out. There has to be a less degrading job than this somewhere. Prostitution, maybe."

Heehee. Sofia is grinning like a Chesire cat who just raided the cookie jar. "Hey, it's not prostitution if you pay /them/ you know," Sofia explains easily, as if this were a new job orientation.

"So you will be my secretary!" Damon says happily. This whole conversation is just a sexual harassment charge waiting to be filed. "I'll get your desk all set up. Office is a bit tight for space, so your chair is actually going to be my lap. When can you start?" He's got a wicked grin on his face. Probably enjoying this way too much. And hey, at least it's keeping him away from the paperwork for now.

Shiner groans, shaking his head and waving both of them off. "I give in. If you need me, I'll be on the starboard hangar deck, up to my elbows in shit. Just follow your nose and I'm sure you'll find me."

Hee. Sofia giggles. Poor Shiner. "Aw. I'll bring you some candy or something. I don't know if I can requisition a girlfriend for you but…" She shrugs. A smile and a wave to Shiner. "Be well. I really am glad I got to see you." She looks to Damon. "Wow. That was really bad." She still has a grin on her face. "That much paperwork huh?"

"Make sure it's one of those, like, chunky peanut-laden chocolate bars," Damon says to Sofia as Shiner starts to leave. "I'd love to see him try and eat one of those after a day on 'The Shiner'." And so it begins! "Well - it is a lot of paperwork, but it's really not that bad. Most of it is just shit to sign off on, really. Repair reports, after actions, that kinna stuff. It's just that the letters and numbers start to dance on the page after an hour or so."

"So cruel," Sofia keeps her grin, teasing gently. "I actually helped him with the thing when I first met him. He doesn't seem to be a bad guy," Sofia considers. "Kinda desperate to get laid. I wonder if he realizes that's kind of what might drive people off?" Hm. She shrugs and nods. "Yeah, I can imagine. Things've been - interesting lately," She frowns.

Damon reaches over to ruffle Sofia's hair when she calls him cruel. "That's just how knuckledraggers show love," he says with a wink. "Endless torment and shit taskings - literally." His eyes follow Shiner's retreating form for a moment before turning back with a shrug. "He's a young guy. Lots of stress, lots of testosterone - hell, I don't blame him for bein' a little crazy about it that way. Bet a lot of people on board are right now, anyhow." He obviously doesn't include himself in that subset.

Sofia smiles at the hair ruffling. "So I see," She grins as he winks. "Well, it's very honest and sincere. I like it here too," She considers, watching the fellow go off. "Besides, someone's gotta do it." Nod. She looks thoughtful. "Yeah, I'm kind of long in the tooth for a crewman. That's what I get for enlisting with a degree," She blushes. "I understand what you mean though. I hear at least one person is even having a kid. I guess it's nice if you meet the right person," She shrugs at that. She's somewhere in the neutral crowd. "Hey though - did you have anything you needed me to take to supplies?"

"Ain't much bullshit and politics down on the Deck - amongst ourselves, anyway," Damon says proudly. "I really should take him off of shitter duty for a bit, though," he adds upon reflection. "Not like we're gonna have anyone more junior than him coming in anytime soon." Another shrug, paperwork shuffle. "You got a degree? I didn't know that. What're you doing as a Crewman if you got a fancy edu-ma-cation? I should be saluting you and calling you Sir, fetching you our finest Deck coffee every time you come down here."

Heehee. Sofia seems pleased and smiles. She nods, "That might make him feel better. I helped him a little but-" She shrugs. "And yeah. Electrical engineering. I guess I could've gone Officer. But I don't know," She looks thoughtful. "I've made lots of good friends being enlisted. I like working out and about. Though the extra salary and snazzy bunker would be nice," She muses. "But then Tyr wouldn't be there to say hi. So I think I'll consider it a good decision in the end," She nods. She pauses, "Besides, officer's uniforms are way more expensive to have tailored."

"Ah, pay don't mean frak-all anymore anyway," Damon says, waving away the idea. "Besides, enlisted's the way to go. That's what I think, anyway. I'd rather be the workin' people than the thinking people. More fun, more experience, more camaraderie. Or however the frak you say that word." He gives her a big dumb smile, knuckledragger-style. "Listen, I think I actually do have some stuff to send to supplies, but my memory's shit these days. I keep everything on paper so I don't forget it, so I'm gonna hafta chase down my list in the office. I'll go hunt for it now, so I don't hold you up if you gotta keep movin' on, OK?"

"That's true these days," Sofia admits, agreeing with a smile. "I'm enjoying it as much as one can these days," She seems genuinely happy at his big, dumb smile. Sofia's fond of the knuckledraggers for reasons known only to the 3M. They're good people in her books. She tilts her head to listen, "Yeah? It's alright. I'll go take care of some folks then and come back later. More of an excuse to see you and Shiner's beautiful faces. I'll remember to bring my good heels too," She promises and nods. "Be well and stay safe, alright?"

Damon strikes a pose. Don't judge - it ain't easy to do in bright orange coveralls while holding a stack of papers. "I'll wear my sluttiest mini-skirt, just for you, then," is his response. One of the workers nearby double-takes with a horrified expression on his face - that's a mental image that won't be disappearing anytime soon. "I'll have the stuff ready when you get back, and a couple guys to bring it up," he says with a nod. "You stay outta trouble, too. I'll catch you later!" And with that, he's off to the office.

Swoon! Sofia beams at that. "Oh you're too sweet." She does giggle-snort at the worker nearby who double-takes. Oh man. She takes a deep breath. "Sure thing. Thank you." She waves to Damon and meanders on out.

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