Joel Stathis
Crewman Joel Stathis
Matt Lanter
Matt Lanter as Joel Stathis
Alias: Shim
Age: 24
Features: Athletic, blonde, light eyes. Calamity Joe.
Colony: Leonis
Rank: Crewman
Department: Engineering (3M)
Position: Requisitions


This character is available for adoption. If you're interested, please contact Ximena in game.

Joel is certainly not the sort of 3M engineer that people outside of the department tend to fondly remember. Indeed, even his fellow snipes sometimes have to take the man with a grain of salt. There's a reason most people call him Shim (short for Shit Magnet), to such a degree that there are few inside the department or out that even remember the man has any other name. Where Shim goes, calamity follows. That's not to say that he's not a skilled engineer, because he is, his specialty being electrical systems. It's just that once he gets away from paper and gets his hands in the guts of anything, something is bound to go wrong. He simply cannot get rid of the little black cloud over his head.

For that reason, Shim spends his days working requisitions for 3M, when he's not drafting schematics or handling the mountains of paperwork that come with helping the officers and senior enlisted in the department. Still, the kid has a good heart, and he's the first to jump (unfortunately, usually over a cliff) when one of his superior officers says 'how high'.

On the Grid


  • Ever heard of Calamity Jane? Shim is her younger brother. If this boy didn't have bad luck, he'd have no luck at all.
  • Despite his little black cloud, he's always got a smile on his face, and helping hand to offer.
  • He's Robin to Sofia's Batman. Even Roombas need sidekicks.

Recent Logs


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