| No Bad Religion |
| Summary: | Keenan and Solstice get their conversation on religion. |
| Date: | 22 Mar 2042 AE |
| Related Logs: | The Awkward Tree |
| Players: |
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| Observation Deck |
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| With a quiet view to the stars, this tends to be one of the more popular 'quiet areas' of the Cerberus. Up front is a small-unseated area for ceremonies or other activities while the seating rises up behind it. Each level rises up behind the one before it, comfortable chairs and couches set up for crewmembers to relax, get some work done or even take a nap. A large armored plate is lowered during Condition One to protect the interior against a breach in the glass. |
| Post-Holocaust Day: #389 |
The dinner hour has just passed on the ship, and Keenan finds himself resting in the arranged time and place for a conversation about religion that he's scheduled with Solstice "Shakes" Vasco. The chapel being the less neutral of locales for the conversation, Keenan settles into a couch near the front of the observation deck with a mug of hot tea. However, as he waits, he falls into his ever constant hypnosis, gazing at the star field before him.
Coming off of CAP, her flight suit still on in a loose sense, Sol takes a few steps inside and tightens the wrap of her suit about her waist as the leggings are still on. She sports her tanks beneath and her dog tags flash as she spots the back of Keenan's head. Making her way over towards the rook and newest Raptor pilot, she clears her throat and calls out. "Hey, Poms." She intones, slowing as she gets closer and checking to see where best it would be to sit.
It takes a moment, but Keenan's head turns as if only just then realizing that his call sign was voiced. Lifting his head upwards in a sharp, quick nod of recognition, he beckons her over to the quiet place he's found near the front. One-handing the top of his mug of tea, he scoots himself to the edge of the couch he's sitting on. "I didn't know if I'm allowed to move individual chairs or not. You want your end of the couch or if you want to pull up a chair, whatever, you know?" He says, motioning for her to take a seat. "How was CAP?"
"The obs deck is a free for all.." She intones and Solstice gives his side of the couch a look and then at the cleared space. Taking up a seat upon it, she sighs and turns her head to look at him. "It was CAP, uneventful. Rather a relief to be honest. Most of the time we are just waiting for Raiders..this time…it was peaceful." She nods to that and then is pulling her gloves off one finger at a time. "I guess, the best place to start is with questions."
"Yeah well let's hope after what we did to them last time they'll keep their frakkin' distance." Keenan replies, bringing the mug of tea to his lips with both hands. Taking a sip, he one-hands it again and sets it on the floor near the leg of the sofa. Clearing his throat, he turns back to her, eyes tilting to the edges of their sockets as he formulates a question. "Okay…" He trails off, looking back to her. "…first things first, why do you worship the gods?" His shoulder lifts in a shrug. "I mean, some people do, some people don't, and there's a lot of bitter people who are steeled against it. So why do you?"
Solstice nods in agreement and then moves to start undoing her boots as she answers, meaning to be comfortable. She laments quite readily that she didn't bring a blanket. "I worship because that is what I was taught, if we want to become technical. But, besides that. I believe." Her eyes flit up to him as she pulls one boot off and sets it aside before moving to the next. "To worship means you believe. We all have a purpose and the Gods are able to help us find it. With so few of us left, it must mean something for each of us. Importance of some sort and I look to them to help guide me."
Watching her speak as she unties her boots, Keenan folds his arms across his chest protectively again as he listens, although his face remains interested in the conversation. "Do you think the gods reach out to people who don't believe, or don't worship?" He asks as she finishes, slowly inserting his question. The side of his lip tugs in a sympathetic smile. "Or do you think that maybe that there's so few of us left that more prayers are getting heard?" For a moment, there's a look of intense sadness on his face, one he quickly washes away.
She takes note, of his mannerisms and Shakes takes a moment before answering. "I think the Gods do, yes. They speak to all of us but some of us are deaf to them." Solstice hooks her other foot out and curls her legs up onto the couch after giving her toes a wiggle. Using the arm of it as a backrest, she turns to better face him some. "I think the latter is also true.." She gives him a sympathetic look and crosses her arms as well. "Though I think, despite them not hearing everyone, they seek everyone. You just have to be willing to receive."
Keenan falls into a short, silent moment, watching her from his end of the couch. The gears in his head clearly turning or fidgeting as to what to say, he quietly bites his lip. "Alright." He says, accepting her take on the subject. "So…I guess the five hundred pound beast in the room then is why this war? Why the Cylons?" He pauses, glancing away from her. "Why do people who deserved to live die when others get to go on?" He says, waiting a moment before turning his eyes back to her. "Sorry, was that a rude question? I'm not trying to be stand-offish I just…" He trails off, failing to find an explanation for her.
"The Gods are not without fault nor are we. They created us…we created the cylons. Do you think it so wrong that we should pay for our mistakes. The Gods receive those who do not have faith in them..we have creations that wish to turn on us. It was our fault." Solstice holds his gaze, making him face what she has come to grasp and deal with. Even if it cuts and makes you bleed. "Keenan, this is our doing and we can not look upward for it, we can only look at each other. Now we have to deal with it."
"No that's fair…I get that." Keenan replies, nodding softly. Keeping his eye contact with her, his face scrunches up in a look of distaste. "It's a hard pill to swallow, but I'm from Leonis. We know what happens when you start something you probably shouldn't have. The Capricans are all too ready to remind us." He says with a roll of his eyes. He looks away again, pressing his tongue to the inside of his cheek bitterly. "I just hate feeling caught up in it. I hate that…" He pauses, getting to the root of his issue. "…the Cylons took everyone. Good or bad, and sometimes I look at the list of who lived and who didn't and it's a really, really unfair list."
"The Cylons didn't look at us as individuals..they saw us as a threat, an enemy." Solstice says, "Its hard for us to swallow, but them we are numbers. That is all. And it is the same in return as we view them. Its a nasty cycle, war. That is how leaders lead their forces. Give the faces you fight numbers..its harder to worry over what you do. You just do it." His comment about Leonis does not phase her and Solstice adds, "I am Sagittaron, if its not painfully clear how much wrong human kind can do to their own people just from my colony..then I am sure we are lost." She sighs, letting out a long breath. "The Gods..they are not without fault, but they are there to help and guide those willing. So if people choose not to accept that help? It is one less light in the dark."
"Yeah…you've had it pretty bad yourselves." Keenan replies, turning back towards her. Clearing his throat, he leans over the edge of the couch to grab his tea. Taking a sip, he sets it back down on the floor. "So how do you listen or accept the help?" He asks, eyebrows raising. "I'm sorry, I'm really not trying to bring you down. I'm sorry if I am, because that's not why I wanted to talk with you about this. I'm going to be honest with you, okay?" He pauses, giving her a frown. "I've been quiet a long time, but I get the sense that you're not going to think that I'm an idiot for trying to find a way out of my own head. So please don't feel obligated, okay?"
"Stop apologizing. You asked me here and I am not going to judge you or question you. Question me all you like, that is why I am here." Solstice says, trying to get him to stop lingering on things that do not matter. "Sometimes they don't say things as blatantly as you like, but …Magus and I ..we were the ones that did the Recon for the foundry." She explains and draws a long breath. "I felt that the fact we got such a clear reading besides the huge asteroid field was because Demeter was watching over me. Lady of mysteries and secrets. She came to me and revealed what I needed.." She explains and smiles faintly. "I am not sure how we pulled it off without a scratch, but I am quite certain because we are trying..because we wanted to succeed the Gods made sure that we did."
"Alright, I'll stop apologizing." Keenan replies with a chuckle, rubbing a hand over his face before turning back to her. That hand forms into a softly balled up fist that taps his forehead twice before lowering. "So, things don't just happen by mistake is what you're saying. That you can't just call things luck, because all of this clearly comes from some source. Since the gods have flaws just like we do, we should pay attention to their help when they give it to us?" His words are confident, and he digs deeper into the conversation. "Okay so all of the mopey, angry shit aside, that's what you believe, right? Surviving, the foundry, that heavy raider not hitting us, and you and I making it through that fight without a single scratch is not just because we did a good job, but because there was a little bit more on our side than my jerky flying?"
"Sort of, I am saying really…that the fact we flew so well was because we have others watching us. The Cylons have their God they believe in…its a matter of faith. Faith can mean faith in those around you..in your fellow pilots and ECOs. In your fellow man." She tries to say. Solstice rubs a hand to her face. "We will win because of this, because of perseverance and faith. Faith gives hope and hope is going to be what feeds us longer than rations or sleep." She says softly. "Believe what you wish to Keenan, answer to whatever god holds your fancy. But what it comes down to his faith. Hope. Belief. I believe in something more powerful, because I like to believe where as we made the Cylons, others formed us. Gave us purpose."
"I wouldn't really know where to start, Solstice." Keenan replies softly, bringing the tone of the conversation down to a more private level. His hands drop to his knee before him, fingers linking together as if suddenly needing something to hold onto. "I think that I have hope. I spent the better part of the last year just trying to figure out what to do with myself, but not really trying to push myself in any one direction. I'm not really good at making the right decisions…" His words trail off and his eyes move back to hers. "…but something keeps telling me not to give up."
"Then don't." Solstice says, "It's as simple as that. Fight. Fight for those who can't fight any longer. Cling to what was yours and don't ever let it go. That is what makes you who you are. We march on because we hope that one day we will find what we lost." Her voice burns with her passion, with her will to live. "There are horrible things..wretched, demoralizing and pitiful acts that can darken your soul…but it depends on you to reach for that light that exists in one form or another. If there is help being offered, a chance? I will take that chance rather than hope for something else." She says softly. Her hands fidget and she looks down to them, some sort of nervousness settling over her - it had begun she she said horrible.
Keenan quiets, lowering his gaze to her hands to watch her fidget, and then to his own hands that are capped over his knee. "When I was sixteen my parents died in a crash." He says quietly, taking in a soft breath as if to prepare himself for what he's about to say. "My sister and I we didn't have any other family to take care of us, so we decided we were going to take care of each other. I remember we were set up with these counselors that were supposed to help us through it, you know? Help us figure out what we could do while they were putting through our application for emancipation. This counsel guy, he told me that there's really two kinds of people that deal with loss. You've got the guy that gives up and the guy that keeps going, and that he thought I was the guy that kept going." Keenan smirks softly, letting out a nervous chuckle as he speaks. "I thought he was full of bullshit at the time but looking back on it, it made a lot of sense. You make a lot of sense, too."
Slowly her head lifts and Solstice listens and watches, nodding her head faintly as a measure of sympathy enters her gaze. Her hands lift, curling about her arms and Wade's voice echoes in her head. About listening to her. Shakes smiles faintly. "You have to believe you are that person, not him." She says. "If you are, then you are. That is all you need. Sometimes it's hard to go on when things are at their darkest.." She says. "There was a time, when we were trapped on Tauron I almost cursed the Gods…a time I almost gave up and let the radiation take me." She finally admits. But why is locked away tightly.
"Hey…" Keenan says with a whisper, his tone taking a comforting tone. He reaches out and nudges her knee for emphasis. "…I think you made the right choice, Solstice. I think you really did. I think we both did." Giving her knee a shake, he leans back and grabs his mug of tea and offers it to her. "Tea? It's got my cooties all over it, but it's not half bad."
The bump and his words makes her blinks and come to. Solstice clears her throat and takes the tea tentatively but doesn't drink of it. Instead she cups it in her hands to feed off the warmth from it. "Forgive me..please ..keep asking your questions." She says, ignoring anything else as her eyes go a bit distant. She's slowly closing off piece by piece.
Watching her eyes trail off, a realization starts to dawn over Keenan, knowing well what she's doing. He does it almost every time he gets five minutes alone. "So what does a guy offer as an offering when he doesn't have anything?" He asks, raising his eyebrows. "I've got a Lions jersey and…" His words trail off, and then his lips curl into a grin. Keenan changes gears. "Hey, Solstice? Did I ever tell you that I used to be a bartender at Colonial Pete's, that strip club?"
She blinks at that and starts to repeat. "Ummm you don't need to give anything but prayers." Solstice says and then as he grins, a brow raises and she blinks anew. That was something to be proud of? In fact it makes her clam up a little more and she slowly sets the mug down. "I suggest you join me in the chapel tomorrow and I will show you what an offering is." That said, Solstice starts to rise from the couch. She makes no comment about this affiliation with being a bartender.
"Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa…" Keenan starts, the side of his lip pulling into a grimace. "…I was just trying to get your attention. I mean, it's true, but it was just a bar-backing job and to be honest I couldn't be more thoroughly bored with any of that stuff." He says, trying to get her to stay. "Sorry, I will come to chapel with you and see what it's like, but I was just trying to…I don't know…knock you into a different gear." He pauses, flattening his lips. "You didn't look happy where you were. I didn't just give you the impression that I'm some kind of asshole, did I?"
"In a strip joint." She says pointedly, pausing enough to answer and turn to look down at him. Solstice is irked a little and it shows in her gaze. Something painful hidden in those eyes before she breaks that look. "You are not an asshole, but probably just uninformed, as most are. I am not easy to get along with, Keenan. Truth there." She says and shifts over to grab for her boots, staying apart from the couch and not rejoining him. "Not your fault..I just.." She flinches a little and tilts her head, letting out a long breath. "Look, you are a good guy..really. Just some things I do not handle well." Too fresh for her.
"Hey, okay." Keenan says, holding his arms up, palms out in a show of defeat. "That's fine, your boundaries are your boundaries believe me I've got mine too." He says, bringing a hand to his forehead. Threading his fingers through his hair, his hand stops at the back of his neck. "It's nothing to be ashamed of. You're my friend. I wasn't trying to impress you…" He lets out a soft, bitter chuckle, rolling his eyes at himself. "…I was actually kind of hoping you'd make fun of me for it. It's really a stupid thing." He says, pausing to take a sip from his mug. "We're good, right?"
"Yes, of course." Is her reply as she turns to face him once more. Hesitantly she slides back onto the couch if only to perch in her normal manner. The ECO watches him carefully and then lowers her gaze a moment. "We all cope in different ways, Keenan. I am not good at humor and so I lacked what you thought would be there for that interaction. I am analytical at my best…" She says with a faint smirk. "I can count numbers..not intentions." She says finally. "Makes for an awkward friendship even if that is what you are seeking." She explains, lifting a hand to push back some of her curls.
Keenan quiets, watching her as she sits back down. Matching her smirk as she gives it to him, he rolls his shoulder in a weighing manner, trying to find the right words for the situation. "Well, good, because I don't want you not good with me." He says with a softness to his voice. Keeping his voice low, he sets the mug of tea in his lap and gestures with his hands as he talks. "It must be driving you crazy then that I'm all kinds of hesitation and am a big, grown up version of a toddler on his first day of pre-school, huh?" The side of his lip tugs into a grin. "Solstice, I want your friendship. I haven't had a friend in years. I'm not talking about conditional creepy guy awkwardness friendship or…skeezy ex den of crap, sleazy guy friendship. I'm talking about honest flawed person seeking friendship in a lonely ass universe, two-way-street friendship, scars and all. I wouldn't abuse that." He says, extending his hand to her for a shake. "Deal?"
"You are a man, that alone puts you into the category of toddler til otherwise proven." Solstice says honestly and half smiles as she meets his gaze. The offered hand is looked at and releasing her boots to the floor, she extends her own. "Very well…if priest doesn't return I might very well get stuck with you Poms, so we better get to know each other." She admits. Her gaze studies him before releasing his hand and settling them to her thighs. "Deal." She finally states and looks up and out of the obs deck window. "I hope you can handle my form of friendship, Keenan. It gets a bit rough sometimes." She admits and then looks over to him. "Chapel then, tomorrow." She presses.
"I'm used to rough times." Keenan replies, "Besides, I'm not exactly the easiest guy to get along with either. I'm complicated." He adds with a nod. Taking his hand back, he rests it on his shin as he regards her quietly. He lets a few moments pass, and then gives her a quiet, affectionate grin. "Chapel. Tomorrow. I'll just bring myself and we'll figure it out from there." His grin turns into a beaming smile. "You better not leave me to my own devices there, though, okay? This is a step. A -step-."
"It might be a good idea to plunge head first.." She tells him. "Faith is key to that." Solstice says before rising once more. "I need to hit the showers…" There is a look that passes her gaze. "And hope I am alone tonight." She mutters beneath her breath. Her honey eyes settle on him and she nods with a faint smile. "Tomorrow then, I won't abandon you to the Gods. I promise." Says the sagittaron. "Enjoy the view.." She says to him and turns to go, socked feet given over to the flooring as she carries her boots.
Keenan's eyes linger on her as he watches her walk away. Suddenly, he snatches up his tea and starts up the aisle after her. It doesn't take long before he catches up. Downing the last of the tea, he sets it on a tray and falls into line next to her. "I can probably secure you fifteen minutes max from outside of the door." Keenan mutters with a conspiratorial smirk hanging onto the side of his lip. "If you've got anything to read while I'm guarding the door, I'd be grateful." He adds, casting a sly gaze down to her. "Sometimes hope makes things happen, right?"
As he joins her, Solstice turns her head and lifts a brow at his offer. She tilts her head and then nods her head, a very relieved and thankful smile on her features. "I would very much appreciate that." She admits and then grins a bit more, a soft laugh escaping her. "Your light reading choices are between spiritual or scientific texts." she says, waiting for his reaction. But the gesture he has just made seems to have opened her up again, even more so than before as she smiles to herself and carries her boots to her side.
"Since we're going to the Chapel for prayer tomorrow why don't you lend me one of the spiritual texts? Maybe it'll give me some background on what to expect." He replies, folding his arms behind his back as he walks. Matching her grin, he turns his head towards the hallway, watching their path as they walk. He opens his mouth to speak and his words stall, forcing him to tilt his head and emit a quiet chuckle. "You know, Solstice?" He looks over to her. "This was a good conversation."
"Even with all the pitfalls.." She says with a faint smirk. Solstice returns that gaze and nods faintly. "It was." Finally admitting as they continue their path back to the berths, hitting the stairs next as they go. She takes the steps at a rather fast gait, something she is used to. Shakes draws a long breath and lets out a sigh. "The texts will probably be boring.." She advises, shooting him another look and allowing him the chance to back out should he care to.
"I'll be the judge of that." Keenan fires back with an air of honesty, coming to a slight stop after jogging up the stairs to the next landing. Glancing to her, he gives her an innocent shrug and leads her into the next hallway towards their barracks. His lips part in a wide grin. "Hey, I wouldn't have said I'd read the texts if I didn't want to, and I'm honestly interested in them. Seriously." He lazily points a finger at her. "Don't you try to talk me out of this now, okay?"
"I wasn't trying to talk you out of anything.." She says to him. Solstice raises a brow as she catches up slowly, picking up her pace a bit. "they are all yours if that is what you wish." She says, lifting a hand to forestall him as they hit the level and take off for the bunks. Shifting her boots to her other hand, she is rolling her shoulder and yawning a little before catching up to him with her shorter legs. Her head tilts and looks up with a nod of her head. "They can be overwhelming"
"If that is what you wish.." Solstice states and steps in before him. She heads for her locker and opens it, withdrawing a scroll from it's tube and extending it towards him even before she starts to shirk her flight suit. With that done and handed off, she begins to untie the arms of her suit and push it down. Lowering it, she is left in her shorts and tanks before handing it up. "That is as broad as I have.." She finally explains, hooking off her socks and throwing those in as well. She then pushes the boots inside and grabs for her towel and brush.
Taking the scroll in his hands as if it were made of glass, it only takes a moment for him to notice that she's undressing. Busying himself with preparing his guard for her access to the shower, he grabs a chair and props it next to the door to the head. For the slightest of moments he watches her, and then slowly dumps himself onto the chair, propping his feet up on a nearby bunk. Eyes back to the scroll, he gives the first few words a read as he talks. "I promise I'll be careful with this." He says with commitment, looking up from the scroll to try to find her again. "How old is this?"
Solstice leaves her clothes on, instead pulling the robe over top of it and hooking her towel over her arm. She lifts a brow at his question and nods, "It was my fathers and his before. My father as a priest of Zeus." She explains. "That scroll will give you more answers and questions then you will ever care for." She smirks. Her gaze flits back from him as she moves for the head, "Ready.." She says and skips back out of the berths for the head itself, feeling rather more chipper about getting her shower in than she usually is. She has a guard.
Softly wrapping the scroll back up, Keenan tucks it close to his chest and grabs the folding chair. "Alright, Keenan, don't drop it." He says under his breath as he tucks the chair under his arm and starts for the door after her. "Ready." He replies, grabbing the hatch to the barracks with one hand, giving it a tug shut. As the door shuts, his voice is cut off mid sentence. "Okay, so if anyone comes by the head I'm going to tell them that it's cl—"