PHD #117: Lucky's New Lot
Lucky's New Lot
Summary: Alessandra's notified by the CAG as to what her new role within the squardon is. Some raw feelings are voiced as well.
Date: 23 Jun 2041 AE
Related Logs: TBA
Cidra Alessandra 
Naval Offices
This area is set-up much like any standard office building. Cubicles have been constructed using cheap waist-high walls, their contents left neutral for whoever needs to use them. Inside each cubicle is a desk with a laptop and chair. Simple overhead lights bring dull illumination to the room except over the back wall where each one of the colonies twelve flags hangs from its own pole. Fake, potted plants dot the room and seem to be standard issue along with the water cooler and coffee machines. Off the main room are a few private offices such as that of the JAG or CAG.
Post-Holocaust Day: #117

The hatch to the CAG's office is slightly ajar again. And inhabited by said CAG. A sign Cidra's been cleared for light duty at least, though she remains off the flight line. Alessandra was summoned to meet her here, at the pilot's earliest possible convenience. Cidra waits for her now, seated at her desk. Left arm bound up in a sling, though the bruising on her forehead, near her left temple, has mostly faded.

Allie's back on flight status and has a CAP to get ready for, the pilot arriving in her flightgear which has been left to hang about her waist with only the sleeves tied around her waist keeping it from falling off entirely. Her helmet is held in one hand while the other is brought up to her brow, the Major saluted crisply. "Sir. I got the message that you wanted to see me."

Cidra stands, acknowledging the salute and giving a prompt "As you were." She remains standing, offering Alessandra a small nod, regarding the younger pilot. There's that weighing look in her blue eyes they often hold though the rest of her expression is, as ever, difficult to read. "I shall not keep you. Let us cut right to it. You have, no doubt, heard about Lasher." Tone softens as she says his callsign. Allowing some of the somberness she feels into her voice.

Blinking, Allie lowers her arm, the right then allowed to rest behind her along with her still-healing left, her fingers clasping each other as her feet are placed at a hair less than shoulder's width apart. "Yes, sir. I have." The answer is kept short on purpose as Alessandra knows that if she were to try to speak at any length she'd risk being dissolved into tears. As it is she's already feeling the tears welling up, it making her cringe inwardly.

"I know you and he were close. He was a man of much quality, and I grieve for him." But that is as much as Cidra says about that. "There are matters that must be attended to, in regards to the Knights. A new squadron leader needs to be selected, and I feel it best to have that done with quickly. You are my choice for it."

Alessandra nods slowly. "I won't lie to you, Major. I truly loved Anton and his loss, while painful to us all, has been especially hurtful to me. But I guess this is something that will be dulled with time." The Major gets her to fall quiet, then, her features held carefully in check when Cidra tells her it is her who will be taking over as lead of the Knights. "I see, sir. I am touched that you are willing to put so much faith in me." The stance she has assumed slackens a bit when her knees weaken. Yeah, she's surprised.

"It dulls with time. But it never really fades," Cidra says softly. Adding a "Sit, if you like" with a gesture to the chair on that side of her desk. She pauses for a beat, as if debating with herself on precisely what she wants to say. Finally, she actually lands on something personal. "My husband was a Viper pilot." Has she ever even mentioned having been married? Likely not. "He was flying maneuvers in the asteroid fields near Canceron some…gods. Nearly ten years gone now. Musses something awful with your DRADIS. He and another pilot collided. And he was just…gone. So fast. All over."

No, the CAG has never spoken about her personal life but even then, the fact that Cidra was married doesn't seem to really shock Allie in the least. The offered seat is silently refused by a shake of her head, the LT needing to stand if only to help her keep the stony facade in place. "It is…it just makes me so mad, sir. The one time I find myself being able to open up to someone like that and he's taken from me." Not that anything could come out of her feelings for Lasher, but being robbed of a chance for happiness someday has her conflicted, her range of emotion shifting from mournful to irate and almost everything in between.

That composure in Cidra's face cracks as she talks of her personal life. There are actually tears standing in her blue eyes. They don't fall, but she makes no effort to brush them away. "Daedrek Hahn and I met in flight training. We were together for four…nearly five years. It is never enough time. After he was gone I found solace in duty. The hours turn to days, the days to years. And before you realize it, it is ten years gone and…you remain." Noted very softly, and she doesn't sound quite sure what she means by that. There's an abstracted air about her as she talks. She's clearly wandered off points professional, and doesn't seem to have quite caught herself yet.

Alessandra isn't sure what to make of this development in the conversation, unprepared for when the Major's story heaps more angst on top of what she's been trying to stave off. Grunting in frustration, she shoves her own feelings back, wanting to be here for Cidra despite her own loss. "Yeah. I think I'm beginning to see how that is," she confesses once she gets herself sorted out. Back in check. "I'm sorry you lost your husband, sir. I wish it could have been any other way for you."

The apology shakes Cidra out of her reverie. She blinks, exhaling soft, taking a moment to piece her composure back together, eyes closing and then opening again. She clears her throat. "I am sorry, Lucky. I did not…let us be done with this, then. You can consider your placement in the SL slot effective immediately. You will remain at a lieutenant's grade, but you shall be senior lieutenant over those in your squadron. You are still quite young, and some of your people older and more experienced, but do not let that nerve you. I chose you because I trust you best with it. I was not any older when I took my first squadron leadership posting. Be glad of the experience your pilots hold. And never hesitate to come to myself or those more senior in the other squadrons if you wish for guidance. Lasher's main flaw, I think, was that he was at times afraid to seek it. I am ever at your disposal, and Captains Broadside and Sitka are solid men to draw experience from in such matters." All of professional talk now, tone rather brisk but unwavering again.

"No need to apologize, sir." Allie smiles then and nods, listening to all of what the Major has to say in way of explanation to her new position and the advice that is readily taken in. "I understand, sir. And I promise to come to you or one of the others when the need arises." That's right. 'When', not 'if'. "Major, I have to confess that I get the feeling that at least one of the Knights looks at me in a less-than-favorable light. Not sure how they'll take the news that I'm going to be the new lead. Not that I am anticipating…problems. Not outwardly, at any rate. But…" Faltering, she looks at Toast and shrugs, not sure what to say.

"It will be difficult," Cidra says. She has no doubt. "There is nothing you can do for it. They do not have to like you, Lucky. I am quite sure all the pilots in this Wing do not like me. What I strive for, is that they trust me. And I try to earn that, every day, by putting their welfare and the protection of the ship at foremost in my mind. I am not a den mother like Jugs. One does not have to be. But you must truly try to know those under you. Their strengths, their flaws. And honor the sacrifice they are willing to make each time they launch from the tubes. Their lives are in my hands. It is something I feel most heavily. As I think any good commander should. They will not trust you right away. That is fine. Trust is earned. What they *will* grant you is respect. Respect comes with the uniform, with the chain of command, and with the wings you wear. We should all be accorded it automatically. From their…earn their trust. Every day."

"Trust…yeah, right. Don't think that'll be happening any time soon. Nor will the respect. But that's alright. Either it'll happen or it won't. I won't try to force them into anything. But I will act as is proper for one in command to act and show them that it's their best interest that I hold most important, not my own." Allie's fingers twitch and then her left hand does, that causing the scarring to be rubbed against the back of her tank which irritates it. Sighing, she pulls her hands before her and looks at it, her nose wrinkled as she regards it with disdain. "I'll be putting up a flight roster and CAP rotations ASAP and get with the Marine CO about the MOUT training you and I had discussed. Get the ball rolling as it were."

"Very good," Cidra says briskly. "Get to it, then. You are dismissed. Clear eyes and steady hands, Lucky. Good hunting." There is still that sense that she's holding herself composed less easily than usual. The slip a moment ago was obviously unintended.

Alessandra comes to attention and gives the Major another salute, this one held for a few seconds instead of being kept aloft until Cidra returns it, that being due to how she was given permission to depart. "Thank you, sir." Managing a grin, Allie turns and leaves.

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