Memoir: Loss

Once upon a time, Mother instructed me in the art of keeping a diary. She told me that having one meant that no matter what happened in your life, you would always have a friend who would listen, always have a shoulder to cry on. In all honesty, I never expected to need such a contrivance.

Mother and Father are undoubtedly deceased, as are all of their friends. I shall not miss their social circle, but I do miss them.

My brother is also almost certainly gone. His loss is more keenly felt, though I am a bit reluctant to admit it as I think my parents would be appalled. Good bye, my dear brother. I wish we had known each other better.

All of the colonies are gone. The Cylons obliterated them. Not one by one. All at once. There was no way to fight them, no way to save our people.

We lost one during a recent mission. Elijah Ren. I did not have the chance to know him. I am sorry for my part in his death. I feel like an idiot for moving forward and leaving him exposed. I hope that where ever he are; if he is, he can forgive me that.

I shall ask the Gods to prepare places for all of them. Even though my family were not believers and I am not sure whether my voice; small as it is, would be enough to overcome so many years of neglect or not; I suppose it cannot hurt. And, perhaps it will help the emptiness I am feeling. Perhaps, it will even help to define my own beliefs.

The keenest blow of all, though, was losing Robin. We had become friends, you see. I do not make friends easily. I think I am too reserved; too abrasively Marine. Having found one, someone I felt that I could trust, who would not judge me, nor think ill of me for my failings, it hurts so very much now that she is gone.

Good bye, Robin.

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