June 21, 2041
When beggars die, there are no comets seen; The heavens themselves blaze forth the death of princes.
- Julius Caesar, Act II, Sc. II— In memory of Captain Anton 'Lasher' Laskaris
I never thought I'd feel this way, that I'd feel like I've been beckoned by Charon who seeks to take me to the Underworld. It's less chilling than the nightmares I was having but I can't say that this is any better despite that. Something's nagging at me, telling me that I should keep a couple coins in my pocket just in case the need to pay the Ferryman arises. Think it's a feeling I won't be ignoring.
Been doing some pondering as far as the subject of religion goes, it being something I sought counsel for a few days ago. The need for peace of mind drove me to it, to seek out Sister Karthasi and ask for her help. She guided me and suggested a routine of fasting and meditation, something I have been able to keep up with thanks to my being distracted. Supposed this is a sign of my own failing. Will try again once my brain has settled and I can sit down for more than a few minutes without breaking down.