| Holding Out Hope |
| Summary: | Wade's doing it. This is why it's worth it. Or…the death of Emo Wade (we hope!) |
| Date: | 2 Jun 2042 AE |
| Related Logs: | Not sure, probably some emo Wade and dream logs. |
| Players: |
  |
| Port Hangar |
| The single largest rooms on the Cerberus are the hangar decks. Each flight pod consists of two stacked landing bays with adjoined decks and hangars, which along with computer-assisted landings results in a faster Viper recovery rate. Mirror images of each other, these two huge areas are located on the flight pods. The inboard sides of the deck, closest to the ship's main hull, are lined with parking and maintenance bays for Vipers and Raptors based aboard the battlestar. The outboard side of the deck contains the launch tubes used by the Vipers for standard deployment. Huge blast doors seal the deck into four sections, each one containing an elevator that leads up to the flight deck directly overhead. The fore-most section contains an elevator system that leads towards Aerospace Fabrication. |
| Condition Level: 3 - All Clear |
| Post-Holocaust Day: #461 |
Even if they are not being attacked by Cylons, even if Raiders are not around, there is a lot of work to be done and this is all across Cerberus. After giving a class to the Viper Nuggets, Wade made his way to the Berths in order to get changed. He left his flight suit in the hanger and now he is rocking the orange deckie overalls that he wears whenever he is working there, fixing Vipers or doing some fine tuning to make sure they are flying, perfect. By now, almost everyone knows that he has been acting a little weird lately, he is more quiet and he doesn't carry the normal levels of humor. The man, just does what he has to do and moves on, jumping from one place to the other and exchanging little to no words with people. Right now, he is laying on his back on floor level, he is holding a screen that is connected to what seems to be the main line in the wiring for one of the Vipers.
"Shift it, Duncan." There's no heat in the words, nor ire, just a heads up, as a toolcart, inbound for Wade's legs, rumbles along the floor, the similarly outfitted feet and coveralls concealing the raptor pilot in her deckhand disguise. Nuggets are terribly hard on a raptor, and there are more than a few physical and metaphorical dents that need to be worked out of the 304 that's settled next to the viper Wade seems to have hooked into. And lucky Leyla, she gets to be a part of all the goodness.
Still looking at the screen, Wade narrows his eyes at the results he is seeing and he clicks his tongue in thoughts "Well…" and then he hears Leyla. The heads up has him dragging his feet on the floor as his knees go up, that way, leaving more space for Leyla to move over to the Raptor that is patiently waiting for her love and care. "Aydin, work work work I see?" He tilts his head away from the screen and looks at her, nodding once before looking back at the screen for a couple seconds. "This…is all…wrong" He takes a deep breath and drags himself from under the Viper, sitting up and unhooking the screen from the main console lines.
"This is all wrong, man. We're not even supposed to be here." Such is the woman's comment, as she sets the toolbox into place, turning her attention to finding the proper tool and starting to remove one of the side panels from the raptor, "But what in particular is wrong with the viper that seems to have you in fits?" She's talking as she works, settling into a rhythm of long familiarity.
Wade just takes a deep breath and rubs his left hand over his hair before looking at Leyla again "Well, I would certainly like to be on a beach a lot better…I kinda miss those" He nods to that and then pats on his knees while looking at the results on the screen "This data is all wrong, they are stating that there are no hydraulics leak and I'm seeing one right /here/…" and he points with his finger to a spot in the fuselage that is leaking a green-ish liquid "…plus, the entire electrical system is screwed up, the wiring is frakked. The best option would be to rewire the entire thing but, that'll put this bird out of the line for a couple weeks, give or take" Now he looks at the Raptor there and nods "What's wrong with your patient over there?"
"I never liked the beach," something Wade would remember. "The sand gets in all the wrong places, and most of the beaches near where we lived had sand fleas. That's what I love about living on a ship. No bugs." Leyla lifts the panel off, setting it aside, the rivets holding it on unscrewed and set into a storage receptacle on the toolcart, "Need to look at the internal wiring for one of the DRADIS panels, one of the nuggets had an accident in there, and it hasn't been working right since." As for the viper, "Have you tried a different diagnostic machine? We've been having software glitches with a few of them. or try adding new leads. A lot of them need to be reworked down in fabrication. But better off the line than going up like a bomb with a pilot in the seat."
"You never liked the beach, true that…but what about lakes, we had some pretty lakes too, remember?" asks Wade now, still looking less than amused with what's on with the Viper. Now, he looks around the ship for a moment and then he takes a deep breath "You know, I was all for the Military life, I was…but not anymore, after this is all over, I'm going to wait until my tour is over and then retire, go somewhere, I don't care" He looks up at her and tilts his head "Had an accident in there? Did your Nugget puke or something?" He half chuckles at this but his smile is, faint, to say the least. He nods to her question on trying other diagnosis machine "Yeah, I did, they throw the same readings." Now, he stands up and leaves the small screen on top of his cart before he takes something that looks like a crowbar "This one is not going to fly for a bit…" and with that, he shoves the straight end into a side opening on those panels and puts some weight onto it, making that panel fall flat on the ground with a loud clunk, later to be washed by hydraulics fluid "Precious…"
"Tag it and leave it for the deckhands. They've probably got a better idea of what's going to get it working right than we will." for all that Wade and Leyla are certified on the deck, they're not deckhands, and they simply don't have the training, and more importantly, the day in day out experience the people assigned to the deck do, "The lakes were alright, yeah. Remember that day we went wakeboarding and we ended up falling off and touching the bottom, even with the life jackets?" There's a glance over, as Leyla crawls into the now exposed empty space the panel revealed, "Something like that, yeah." Nuggets will be nuggets. "You do realize this tour is never going to be over, right? And where would you retire to, exactly?"
Wade presses his lips together for a moment and then nods; he extends his hand to one of the middle drawers on that cart and pulls a sticker that he slams on the nose of that Viper 'OUT OF FLIGHT LINE' "They'll get this one sorted out then" His attention moves to Leyla and he takes a small piece of cloth to clean his hands, at least as best as he can. The story at hand brings another little smile form him and he nods again "I remember it was pretty hard, and damn cold actually…and that damn bottom had a lot of rocks and I basically was stopped by my own ass, so that did hurt a little bit "Well, ok, maybe I should have said /if/ at some point, all this shit stops." He coughs and covers his mouth, looking away just for brief seconds "I sure hope it does end…and I don't know Lala, somewhere, I don't really care anymore…" He rubs his fingers over his eyes and shakes his head "I…" He looks at the Raptor pilot and just shakes his head "I'm dreaming about Faith almost every night and the fact that we are so damn close to Gemenon is making me go crazy, there's people alive down there…" He clicks his tongue "I was going to be a dad Lala, and…well…if these dreams are having have some truth behind them, it was a baby girl"
"I thought you would be picking rocks out of your ass for weeks after that." Leyla shifts, tucking herself deeper into the hollow, before she starts working at the panel inside the raptor that will open out so she can see the innards of the ECM console. It's not that she's not paying full attention, she is, but she has a thing for multi-tasking, "You don't care about protecting the lives of the people in this fleet? About watching out for your wingman, for the nuggets you're training?" Leyla comes back out, as talk turns to Faith, though the revelation that she was pregnant is new, "So you do care about something, just not what's right on front of you."
"Luckily enough, it didn't really last weeks but, it was a painful experience, specially when trying to sit down" offers the Viper pilot on the topic of 'rocks in my ass'. He approaches the Raptor and he knows she is actually paying attention, but to facilitate things, he moves inside and sits against one of the walls, leaving his legs to rest on top of the wing. "I do care about protecting the lives of the people, and of course I care about my wingman and the nuggets" says Wade in a somewhat defensive, yet not harsh tone. He rubs his fingers over his chin and he nods "And I do care about her and…Toast and Shakes have told me that I shouldn't hold high hopes and, I'm trying to do that…" He takes a deep breath and says "She was going to stop her Priestess-hood, I was going to leave the Military…I even had a couple job offers, we were going to go back to Picon and raise our daughter there." He leans his head back against the cold metal "She was four months pregnant when the Cylons attacked…" The man has to clear his throat and hits the back of his head on purpose against the metal "And now this little piece of shit…this Bannik kid, wants to make friends with those damn toasters?" There is noticeable anger in his voice "Frakking idiot, I'm still wondering why the frak we let him walk around like nothing…"
"No, you don't care, or else you wouldn't have just said that you did. You can't have it both ways. You can't be here and be there, wherever she is both at the same time. You need to decide which it is." Leyla sets aside her tools, turning so she can look at the man seated next to her, "You think they took her and your child from you. You want to hate them, to hate everything about them. You want to rage, to destroy everything that reminds you of, or is associated with the people who took away your dreams, Wade. Believe me, I understand that." There's a beat, a pause, before Leyla continues, "When the Areion took Mark, I felt the same way. Worse than when I was dealing with the fact that my family was dead. Because I love him the way you love her. With everything inside of me. And when I went over there with the Marines, I didn't have to go with them, I could have sent someone else, I could have even made sure we had an engineer or a deckhand on the boarding raptors, but I didn't. And I didn't do it because I was confident I could do what needed to be done," even, in hindsight, that is how it turned out. "I did it because I was so full of anger and hatred, I wanted to make them all pay for what they did. And after it was over, even after I knew he was safe, I didn't stop. I executed them. It didn't matter that they had been following orders. It didn't matter that they might have been able to be saved. I killed them because they had threatened to kill the most important thing in my world. My reason for living. They had threatened me and mine and in that moment, I was no different than the cylons. I threw a blanket of blame over every last person on that ship. I would have killed everyone on that ship if I had to, to bring him back. Now you feel the same way I did. But feeling like me is one thing, Wade. Don't be like me. I don't know what Bannik did and didn't see down there, to make him feel what he did, but you're throwing him under that same blanket."
"You are dealing in absolutes Lala, it is either one or the other…" says Wade, shaking his head at that. "I know the day is coming is coming closer, I know we'll go down to that frakking rock at some point to do…well…the gods know what at this point." He clears his throat and leans his head back, closing his eyes for a moment. It is only when she starts talking about Mark that he opens his eyes again and looks at her one more time. "Must be a great guy, I'm…" he takes yet another deep breath and offers an honest nod with a smile, little bigger than the others "I'm happy for you, I really am…you are very special to me even if time and career paths have pulled us apart" He presses his lips together and then licks them "If there is something that right now brings a little bit of happiness to me, is the fact that you are happy" Now, he shakes his head and adds "And I'm sorry I wasn't around for the start of the whole thing, I woke up in Sickbay and knew things weren't ok so…I just went to the deck and found my Viper there…" he shrugs casually and then he narrows his eyes looking at a fix point in the metal wall in front of him "I don't want to kill Bannik, nor the thought has crossed my mind…but come on, really? Really? His stupidity seems to be stirring all sorts of shit and he walks around like nothing. Should he be branded a traitor?" Now, he shakes his head and goes back to the topic at hand "I fear that moment Lala, if my dreams hold the truth, she is gone and so is my daughter…you understand the hate that the situation can bring, you went through it as you said just a moment ago…" He closes his fists around the cloth and his knuckles go white as his fists shake slightly "My everything Lala? My everything was taken from me by those…." the muscles in his arms and back tense up, his neck as well and his face grows a little red, eyes going just a little bit glassy before he shakes his head "I do care about the people in this fleet, about my wingman, about my students..and I will fight next to them until my very last breath." He half snorts and he shakes his head "Destiny? Do you believe in that? I face the possible fact that my future wife and daughter are dead…but my sister-in-law and nephew are alive.." he shakes his head as he looks at her and says "Don't get me wrong, I do love the fact that they are both alive and well, and I do know I would do everything to protect them…it's just…it's interesting how this…fate, destiny or whatever you wish to call it, works"
"Some things are absolutes, Wade. Faith might be alive down there, and so might your child. Lord knows Astra made it through her pregnancy on Aerilon. She might also be dead and your child with her. We can't know that. Now right now, perhaps not ever. But we can know what you're doing with your life right now. Today is a precious thing, yesterday is lost. And we can't know the future. The only day that matters is today. The only thing that matters is what we do today. We have to make the best of what every day brings us. To be worthy of the fact that we're still alive. To be worthy of the people we love when we find them again." Leyla shifts, making herself more comfortable, not an easy feat tucked inside a raptor, "I didn't mean Bannik, I meant the Cylons. Frankly, Wade, we don't know anything about the cylons. We don't know how they think, what they feel, what they believe. We have no way of knowing if it was every cylon together that destroyed the colonies or just a group of them. We know nothing about their society. For all we know, the cylons down on Gemenon might be their version of the SSLF or the Tauron insurgency. And yes, they might just be trying to get us there to destroy us. We won't know which it is or if it's something else entirely until we get there. We know some few examples of them. And some were our friends and companions. But you're not even considering the possibility. You've blanketed them all as murderers and that's the end of it for you. Isn't it."
Wade goes silent to listen to what Leyla has to say right at this moment, he just looks at her, his eyes not glassy anymore. At some points, it does seem as if he wants to say something to her but goes quiet again to keep listening. "No, we don't know anything about them…." He takes a deep breath and looks down at the floor between his legs "I don't even what I'm saying anymore Lala, I'm trying to find something that…" he shakes his head and half snorts "Don't even know what I'm doing" He nods with eyes closed and says "Isn't that how we always act? Say…I don't know, Aquaria and Virgon go to war, Virgon forces nuke the frak out of Aquaria…the ones from that Colony, the ones that remain would hold hatred against Virgon but.." he stops, thinking about things before saying them "…but maybe not everyone in Virgon is the same." He tilts his head back and closes his eyes "Hate fuels us, and also blinds us…" Now, he shakes his head again "I have no clue what's going on down there Lala, I know we'll find out and we'll either regret it or be thankful. But, if I'm to follow all these dreams I have…something down there will leads us somewhere important, I guess. And…my girls are lost" He bites his top lip and even draws some blood. He tilts his head on her last question and asks "What do you mean? A replacement?" he shakes his head "Lala, as much as I love them, and as much as I would give my life for them…" he tilts his head "I mean…what do you mean?"
"Yes, that is precisely how we act. How many times did you have to get in someone's way when they wanted to get in my face for being a dirt-eater? How many times did you have to stop Raskin from picking a fight just so he could send someone to the infirmary?" That would be the extremely militant Sagittaran who was a class ahead of Leyla and a class behind Wade. "We both have seen enough examples of people who want to blame everyone for the pains brought on them by a very few. Shiv died for that very reason. Colonialism(here used as the BSG version of racism) didn't die out with the coming of unification, and it certainly hasn't died with the return of the cylons. It's the same thing all over again. But we have to be better than that. We don't have to love them. We don't even have to trust them, even if others like Bannik want to. But we have to be willing to look at them through the lens of reason. Even if, in the end, it might be for no other reason than to allow us to gain insight into what we need to do to defeat them and find peace." But there's a shake of her head, at the last, and Leyla attempts to clarify. "I'm saying that they might have been returned to you to remind you that not all love and hope is gone from the world. That your ability to feel both of those things did not die on the day you lost track of Faith and your child. That you can use them to help you keep that love and hope alive, until the day you see Faith again. Whether it be in this world or in the next. You owe it to her to be as willing, and able and capable of love and hope when you see her again as she will deserve."
Silent again, Wade listens to Leyla but this time, he doesn't stay in silence "Colonialism, we saw a lot of that…I got called traitor a lot of times for defending you Leyla and you know what? I will continue defending you, over and over again because I honestly don't give a flying frak what those frakkers said, you were always my good friend; and one of my biggest regrets is that we grew a little apart" He shows a faint smile before he takes a deep breath, running his fingers over his hair and closing his fist there, taking hair in his hand but not pulling. "I need a haircut" Idly says the man before looking at the Raptor pilot again "If, the dreams have a meaning, whatever is down there is…of importance, to us. Now, I don't know what's gonna happen, I don't what that something is but…we'll find out." Now, as for the last part? "A reminder…" says Wade at first and then listens to what she says, and this actually clicks deep inside his brain "I owe it to my girls…" And his voice breaks for a second, the man shaking his head "Damn it…" He takes a deep breath and clears his throat "I owe it to my girls and for my girls, I will not…fall into a bottomless hole of self…pity…" He looks at Leyla and this time offers a full blown smile to her "I always admired your strength, and I always had that thought that, your strength came to you with a very high cost…" He nods "It does for all of us" He nods "I always admired that of you and…" he chuckles "And that way you have with words, that I really haven't seen a lot of people with that gift. You can change the world with your words, one people at a time"
"You know, the funny thing is…I actually did eat dirt when I was little. Well, tried to anyway. I was about five and I made these mud pies and set them out on the table at tea time." Pretty much the same as nearly every child who actually have dirt to play with her done a time or two before. But the sentiment in Wade's words isn't negated by the humour, and Leyla lifts a hand, and briefly touches the man's face. "I was too blind to see it then, and life has shown us too much since." The ship has long since sailed, and there's something bittersweet in that. "But I never stopped being your friend, Wade Duncan. And I will always be your friend. And when you finally find the answer to the riddle of your dreams, I will be there to help you through it." Her hand reclaims the tool she set aside, as she turns back, offering the man an equal smile, "I'm only strong when I have to be. Life has just made it a necessity." As to her words, "The world is just one person, and another, and another after that. I try to give what I can, and hope that, when I reach that final accounting, it will be enough."
"Was it a good pie?" asks Wade now, showing a more easy smile after she tells that story. When Leyla touches his face, he leans against that hand just a little bit and closes his eyes. He nods in silence and then he says "Life has show us too much, words could not be more true" There is mutual understanding there, it cannot be denied. He moves his fingers to his chin and rubs his shadow beard for a moment before saying "Thank Leyla Aydin, I know you will be there, regardless of what happens and that's something that means more than you can imagine" He takes a deep breath, filling his lungs with air; after exhaling, he adds into the mix "And whenever you need me, you know that I will be there, no matter what" He licks his lips now and smiles "It will be enough, of that I'm certain but you know Lala, deep inside I think, there is something after this…there is something to hope for, I don't what it is. Will that be peace? A new home? I don't know, but there's something there and…I will do what I can to get us closer to that." He licks his lips and nods to himself, staying in silence for just a few moments before actually adding "Events like these define us and we walk through the fire, we walk through the shadows and what comes out is…something perhaps we never thought about? How much we've changed Lala…it's…" he shakes his head and chuckles, knowing that he is not making a whole lot of sense "Ties remain, friendships remain, family remains…and…you know, love remains..and we have to hold onto that"
"I never got to find out. My mother came in just as I was about to take a bite of it. Looking back on it, considering all the runoff from the factories we had in the water table, she probably saved my life." Again, that soft humour, to ease the passage of more painful words, "I have never had reason to doubt you, Wade. I don't think that I will." Leyla settles back into the easy rhythm of the work, pushing a toolbox in your direction, just in case you're feeling inclined to help. Many hands make light work and all that. "That's it exactly. It's not what the world offers you, it's what you bring to it. Steel is always stronger after it spends time in the crucible. And the purpose of a crucible is not only to strengthen steel, but to burn away all of its impurities. The colonies changed, the war came, but we are still here, and we are moving into the future. The greatest gift we have as human beings, is hope. Everything else springs from that. As long as we keep it alive, we will have a future."
Wade can't help to chuckle at her first words, he nods and says "She probably did, but I guess we could say that…" he smiles "…it would have had an…exotic taste?" Because isn't that what they say about all the food that tastes weird or downright crappy? He smiles a little more and when she pushes the toolbox, he looks at it and smiles a little more. The man pushes himself away from the Raptor wall and kneels down, before standing up. He tilts his head looking to see what is she doing exactly and nods in silence, leaning down and extending his hand into the toolbox to get what he needs. He moves closer to the other woman and kneels next to the console she is working on "I think hope…and the ability to remember…the memories we treasure, those who we lost, those that are still with us" He smiles a little to himself and leans in a little, looking to see what he can do to help there. In the end, he gives a set of wires a light tug to get them out of their cover "You know, you still have to teach me how to fly one of these things…" he smiles to that and adds "I've seen you fly, I know what the buses can do…I think, it'll be an interesting learning process"
Leyla shifts, to give room for Wade to get inside, as they work on removing the underside cover of the panel. And yes, from the smell, someone had a bit too much of the galley surprise before they went into the raptor. "Exotic…" A laugh, as the pair work in the way that people who know each other well have a tendency to do. "The body is only a shell. A casing for that part of us which is eternal. Losing that doesn't make us anymore who we are or who we were, it only makes it more difficult for those who are left behind. So long as someone lives in your heart and your memory, they are not gone." The last of the panel comes down, before Leyla turns to retrieve the cleaning solvent, "I'm available for lessons, though I think you'll find that it's a bit of a stepdown from a viper. But where a raptor lacks speed, she excels in utility. It takes a certain mindset to fly in an arena where you know you have no way to defend yourself."
Wade laughs along with Leyla, perhaps one of the first times in a long time in which he actually, laughs. The smell? Yeah, that's pretty damn crappy and there's nothing exotic about that "You know, you should make that Nugget clean all this" he smiles a little at that and then nods to her words "Well, you know, that's what Faith always said…we live on, what's inside us lives on and nothing can take that away from us." He licks his lips and takes a second bottle of solvent which he lightly pours on another piece of cloth. "Whatever happens, they will always be with me, I only wish…" he stops a little as he gets the cleaning moving "If they are truly gone, I wish I could have met my daughter, you know?" He takes a deep breath but looks away as he really doesn't want those fumes to hit him hard "There are so many things I wish really." Now, he looks at Leyla and smiles a little "You know Lala, I do really love Vipers, I love the speed and the sense of freedom. But above all that, I'm a Pilot, and a pilot feels comfortable flying, anything. I was a shuttle pilot even before joining the Academy." He nods "It takes a certain mindset to fly know that, yes. But you also know that you have others defending you, you have me defending you…" he smiles a little more "…we are all brothers and sisters, even if we sometime beat each other. And, I know you are the perfect teacher for me"
"I don't dare. He'd probably wreck every wiring and coupling in here and then I'd have to explain why the ship was out of commission. If it were just the floor or the seats, which he already cleaned, sure, but this is too meticulous and dangerous to leave to nugget hammer hands." There is a moment, when Leyla notices the look on Wade's face from the smell, and points a finger towards the toolkit, "There's a jar of ointment in there that will mask the smell(think Vicks Vapour Rub). "Perhaps your dreams will show her to you. But all children, at their heart are a combination of two things, or they should be. The best parts of you and the best parts of the woman who bears her. So think on that and you might come up with an image." It's slow, patient work, but Leyla seems used to it, comfortable, as she continues, "I know I do. But you'll see when we get into the sims. There's a lot you need to unlearn. But there are also things which might help you when you get back into a viper."
"True enough and…well…at least he cleaned everything else." says Wade offering a light shrug at that now looks at that ointment jar in the toolbox "Always prepared huh?" asks Wade, smiling at this. He takes the small jar and opens it getting some ointment in his index finger and actually rubbing it against the bottom of his nose, right above his upper lip. "Want some?" asks Wade, handing over the small jar to Leyla. "Well, I'm glad she would only get the best of me, I would hate for her to be a stubborn ass like her father" To this, he smiles and then he takes a deep breath, noticing that the bad smell was indeed, clocked by the ointment "Damn, this stuff is pretty strong" He lowers the jar close to her and then resumes his work, helping her get everything cleaned up, being really careful not to break anything. "Well, I can't really unlearn things but, I know what you mean, I'll do things as needed and I promise I won't break the Raptor…well…the sim at first of course" He considers that last and nods in acceptance to Leyla's words "And I think you are right, I think that, different experiences improve the overall performance of a pilot" He smiles now and then asks "Lala…you know, I've been trying to do something, something to honor the friends and family I lost and…I was thinking about, you know, your tatau…" He shows a slight smile "I don't intend to steal your traditions, I don't…I'm just trying to figure out a way to, you know, do something for them"
"He did the best he could with what he has to work with, which…considering the nugget, is not all that much. But such is what we're reduced to, and he's still new." With two sets of hands working, the cleaning goes faster than usual, especially once Leyla takes some of the ointment herself, so she doesn't need to turn away to take clean breaths of air and all. "Stubborn isn't a bad trait. It's what has kept most of us going this long." Finally, Leyla is finished with her side and she moves back to clean up and let Wade finish his area. "No, you can't unlearn things, but you can train yourself not to let that prior experience cloud your present task. ECOs have to do that when they try to pilot. They have a tendency to want to look at the DRADIS, instead of looking out of the window." A tilt of her head as Wade mentions the memorial. "It's not my tradition, Wade. many cultures have a tradition of using tatau to commemorate things. It's certainly not something that's exclusive to taurians. We're just particular about the designs used."
Wade looks at Leyla and smiles as she speaks of her Nugget "We all get one like that, I know I've wanted to beat a couple of mine" says the man as he continues the cleaning process, making sure to not miss any spot, after all, he doesn't want to leave work behind for Leyla, he wants to help. "No, it's not…but sometimes you can go really far and that becomes problematic." he looks at her and nods "Every time I go to sickbay for something, their first idea is to tie me down so I can't get away" As he has done twice already, second time for a very good reason. "I know, and I'll do my best to not let that happen, I do want to learn and…you know…flying calms me down, it's very soothing for me." On the subject of the tatau, Wade presses his lips together and nods "I know, I didn't mean it that way…my bad. What I mean is, well, perhaps you could give me a couple ideas? For example…my first thought was to, have a tattoo of my old squadron but, I'm not sure if that would be enough…does it tell a story? I don't know." He nods firmly and leans in a little more, putting more weight into what he is doing until he is actually done. He moves the cloth away and drops it into a can used to get dirty crap. "There are so many things…my friend Spank, Allison…" AWOL Moran "…my family, my old squadron…" he swallows "…my girls if they are no longer with me in body…" He looks at her one more time "You know, lot of things"
"That's because you have a habit of not realizing that sometimes you're in sickbay for your own good. if you're injured, and you leave early, you run the risk of permanently damaging yourself. What good is winning one battle, if you lose the war? You are a good pilot, but you have a squadron to back you up. Let them do that for you, the same way you expect them to let you do it for them. You've escaped permanent injury thus far, when you have left sickbay, but that doesn't make you right, it just makes you lucky. And luck runs out." Leyla finishes putting away the cleaning supplies, before she returns to replace the covering panels. "Why do you think I have so many? Because not every image can speak to everything that needs to be remembered."
Wade chuckles again, he finds it funny for whatever reason; he then nods and puts a more 'serious' expression. "I know and I'm working on that, I'm…you know, not hiding anything and, doing my checkups and not running away from sickbay. And yes, I have the Knights to back me up and they know I've got their backs." He looks at his hand now, it's heavily scarred but, still, it's a reminder of how lucky he is "I know I'm lucky, I know I don't have to force it and…I won't" Now, he helps Leyla gather the panels and starts working on putting things back together, but really following Lala's lead because, it's her area of expertise, Raptors. "You have quite a few of those, I don't think I've seen them /all/" he nods to this but doesn't ask her to see them, he has known Leyla for a long time now, he knows she's very private and he is one that respects her privacy. "You know, thank you, again…for everything."
The raptor, at least in this area, is soon enough put to rights, and Leyla slides back out to put everything away, counting off hardware and checking off that she's replaced all of the bolts and screws. It's always the stupid little things that get you, "You haven't been in sickbay to have an opportunity to run away from it," she neatly points out, "if the situation were different then we'd have a chance to test your resolve to shape up and fly straight." Only one everything is put away will she clean her hand and move to replace the panel that rests on the skin of the raptor. "I can show you, one of these days. They're meant to be read. And you're welcome. I didn't like seeing you walking down that road."
Wade watches Leyla do the last bit of reassembling and shows a soft smile "Test my resolve huh?" asks Wade, smiling just a little more to that. The man makes sure to look around, just to see if there are things that need to be picked up but after he finds that everything is perfect, he nods to himself. Her offer brings a gentle smile to his lips and he nods again "It would be an honor to see them, and to know the story behind each one" He takes a couple steps back now and looks outside the Raptor, helping Leyla take everything out should that be the course of action to be taken next "I know what you mean, I saw where I was heading and…you know, I tried but, I just…" he presses his lips together and then licks them "It's good to have friends like you, that's the truth." Now, he looks at himself and then he takes a deep breath followed by a heavy sigh "I have to fly CAP, you are on that rotation too right? Or am I completely lost?"
Leyla is nothing if not methodical when she's working. Well, truth to be told pretty much all of the time. So raptor is ready for the next step, which will not, it seems be handled by the woman, as she's already moving the toolchest over towards the spot the deckies usually leave them, "That might take a while. There are entire histories in some of them. Not all of them belong to me." A lift of her shoulders, "Friends help friends. And yeah, I've got th CAP. I'd better go and get ready, see you back here in about an hour?"
Wade steps outside the Raptor and takes a careful look of the entire Deck, just scanning what's going on around them before looking back at Leyla "Well, I've got the time after all" says Wade now, showing a smile to her. Now, he nods in agreement "Friends help friends" And he shall be there if she needs him. "Yeah, back here in an hour, I think I'll take a quick shower and suit up again…" he looks over his shoulder and sees how his Viper is being moved to the launch tubes "A quick shower" A faint smile is offered and then he says to her "See you in a bit" And with that, the man starts walking to the stairs, fast.