PHD #471: Emotions and Psyche
PHD #471: Emotions and Psyche
Summary: Khloe gives Wade a quick performance review.
Date: 12 Jun 2042 AE
Related Logs: None
Khloe Wade 
Naval Offices - Deck 10 - Battlestar Cerberus
This area is set-up much like any standard office building. Cubicles have been constructed using cheap waist-high walls, their contents left neutral for whoever needs to use them. Inside each cubicle is a desk with a laptop and chair. Simple overhead lights bring dull illumination to the room except over the back wall where each one of the colonies twelve flags hangs from its own pole. Fake, potted plants dot the room and seem to be standard issue along with the water cooler and coffee machines. Off the main room are a few private offices such as that of the JAG or CAG.
Condition Level: 3 - All Clear
Post-Holocaust Day: #471

The naval offices are their usual activity level for a late-afternoon shift, with crewmen and junior officers coming and going on behalf of senior officers, delivering memos and other forms that need to be processed. Nothing compared to the hectic activity on the day the Areion decided to mutiny against the fleet, nor like it's been since the oppressive onslaught of the 'triple hash mark' Cylon Raiders. Things have settled into a sort of quiet holding pattern, and that means old business can get caught up on.

Khloe sits at her cubicle, sifting through paperwork. A number of pilots' files sit unopened on her desk, with one particular Lt. Wade Duncan at the top of the stack. Dressed in her officer blues, she's nothing short of pressed-Poppy-perfect, just like every other day. Although, lately, something's different about the cold Captain; she's actually been seen making a facial expression other than her usual stoic scowl: on occasion, the Captain cracks a smile. For no reason. Some have suggested that she might be finally losing her edge. Others suggest it has to do with a certain Marine. But nobody's talking openly, of course.

"Drips," she says, tearing her eyes away from her paperwork and looking up. "Please, have a seat. As much as I think doing these sorts of things now is pointless, as we are tested on a daily basis thanks to the Cylons, rules are rules." She takes up his folder and sets it by itself, opening it up. It appears to be the usual: a data sheet showing some crunched numbers from Wade's sorties over the past year, including sim data, and a few snapshots of impressive kills, including the one that killed Baer's Raptor. But she leaves that right where it is, on the desk, and turns to face him. "So, why the sudden sentimentality?" She asks, nodding towards his shoulder, obviously meaning the Horseman patch. "Looking into the past, and not towards the future?"

Wade nods in silence and then takes the offered seat, shifting a little bit to find a place of comfort. "In that we agree" offers Wade, talking about how pointless these things are, at least during a time of war. He rubs his fingers over his eyes for a moment and takes a deep breath. His eyes open again just at the moment in which Khloe asks about the Horsemen; Wade narrows his eyes and then looks at the Squadron logo on his suit, looking at her again and saying "They were my brothers and sisters, they deserve to be honored and I should be the one honoring them." He nods and adds "Technically speaking, I was still part of that Squadron when I got rescued" The Horsemen was the Squadron Wade used to belong while stationed in the Chimaera; the squadron itself was destroyed , or so it seems because, when Cerberus' personnel was dispatched to investigate it's remains, almost all crew was gone.

"I see. Well, try not to go overboard on the flair. It's not regulation. I don't care whose service you honor in your spare time, but right now, you are a combat pilot of the Black Knights, and an instructor in the Hyperlights. Try to remember that." Well, it seems Khloe's in a pleasant mood, as always. "Shall we get down to the review?" She takes up the folder, now, and begins leafing through a variety of pages. "It seems you've quickly become one of our best Viper pilots, Lieutenant. You are a textbook wingman, your numbers are above the mark in all categories, and you also have a penchant for putting KEW through the cockpit of certain muntinous trash that no longer needs to be mentioned by name." Meaning, Baer, of course. "I'm wondering what you think your greatest strength and your greatest weakness is as a stick. Something that the numbers may not readily tell me."

"And I still am a Pilot of the Black Knights and an Instructor in the Hyperlights, this doesn't change anything, and their service is honored at all times, not just in my spare time" says Wade to her, tone perfectly neutral and nodding his head again. "Go ahead" offers Wade now about starting the review. Now, he goes quiet and listens to what the Captain is saying to him. When she is done, he clears his throat and offers "Well, I think that, my greatest strength is…and I will have to disagree with you on something you said. My biggest strength is that I am not a /by the book/ pilot. Textbook is what of course, served as base but of course, there is so much more about a pilot, than just textbooks. It is my belief that, a pilot who only relies on text book knowledge is as good as dead, but then again…I know there are different views on that one." So yes, he stated his strength, and now, for his weakness "My weakness is that I'm not able to do more /or/ maybe…sometimes I can't keep a cool head when out there"

Khloe nods, a slight movement. It seems she's more interested in reading his face than listening to his words. "I see," she says again. "Speaking of keeping cool heads, can you tell me what went through your head when you happened to get your shot against Lt. Col. Baer? Can you tell me why you were so easily able to get a killing bead on such a seasoned pilot?"

"What went through my head when I landed the shot? I wanted him to burn in hell, forever…" says Wade, running fingers over his chin before adding "Baer killed a friend of mine, AWOL…Baer leaded a group of pilots, feeding them the bullshit that he took from Kepner. Kepner once told all the pilots that, those who died were not worthy of the honor to be Evocati, that those who died were simply not good enough. Well, I'll tell you what Poppy, I'm a damn good pilot, and the reason for that is because I had the best teacher you could ever find. That man was called Colton Duben, and he was one of the Evocati before he died in combat. My understanding is that both Kepner and Baer treated all the dead like I told you…" He takes a deep breath, anger is something Khloe will notice "I wanted to kill that frakker, I wanted to murder him, I wanted to destroy that image of 'I'm the greatest', I wanted to completely wipe him out…and…well, I guess he just wasn't that good"

"So, you made it personal," Khloe summarizes. "You realize that actions influenced by emotions are often the wrong actions to make? I've stated this many times before. I think you know by now that I believe that cool heads should prevail, orders should be followed, and… good pilots remember their textbook training." She glances down at the folder contents again, but flips it shut. "I'm not going to find what I'm looking for in numbers and photos. I know you're one of our best sticks. You're probably a better pilot than I am, and you're considerably younger than me. You'll likely make squadron leader before this war is over. Maybe even CAG. But that'll never happen if you make decisions based on emotions. That is your greatest weakness."

Wade nods "It was personal" Heck, for him, it was personal. "Sometimes, right and wrong is not what our focus should be in, but…effectiveness" says Wade, taking a deep breath and then looking to the side, coughing, covering his mouth. "Excuse me" He nods and says "Good pilots remember their textbook training, yes…but as I said, textbook isn't everything, there is much more than that." He looks at how she flips the folder shut "I spoke with the CAG about this, I find it fair that you should know this as well…after the war is over, if we find some place to actually start again, I'm going to retire. Or at least that is what I'm considering at the moment."

"Hmm." That's not a contemplative sound from Poppy, but a disapproving sound. "Well, that's certainly your perogative, Lieutenant." She folds her arms across her chest. "Expect that your review will be a positive one, with comments detailing your excellent piloting to date, with noted concerns regarding emotional and psychological strain. Don't worry, I put that last bit on everyone's review." And with that, she stands, indicating he should do the same. "Despite our recent differences, Lieutenant, I still consider you a competent pilot and an asset to this fleet."

Wade's expression remains neutral when she does her 'Hmm', tho he nods when she mentions it's his prerogative. When she stands, he does the same and offers to her "Thank you, Captain" The man throws a quick salute to her and then moves his hands behind his back, quickly scanning the room one more time. "Would that be all, sir?" asks Wade now, moving his focus back to Khloe, looking deep into her eyes and revealing certain, emptiness in them. Emo Wade might be gone thanks to Leyla, yes…but certain things remain. Still, he has been looking much much better after talking with his Raptor pilot friend.

Khloe returns the salute, giving him a proper respectful exchange between superior and junior officer. "Yes, Lieutenant. Steady hands."

Wade nods afterwards and offers "You as well" he turns around and starts walking towards the door, probably heading to the classroom or….who knows where.

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