PHD #149: Confusion
Summary: Cidra and Sofia both wrestle with their feelings about Cylon Eleven.
Date: 25 Jul 2041 AE
Related Logs: It Lies In Odd Numbers Part I and Part II
Cidra Sofia 
Deck 9 - Recreation - Battlestar Cerberus
The floorplating along the corridors of the Cerberus are standard military. Their forged steel plates are welded seamlessly together to run nearly the entire length of each hallway. The hallways themselves are the typical load-bearing structural design of the angled quadrilateral. Oxygen scrubbers and lighting recesses are found at nearly perfect intervals throughout the angled passageways.
Post-Holocaust Day: #149

Cidra has some off-duty time and she's once again found her way to the wall. She stands before it now, arms crossed along her chest. There are certain photographs that her eyes linger on more than others, but she pays no particular one her full attention. She stands, quietly. Looking over it all.

Sofia is roving the halls. Many reasons to rove. She has found her path brings her to the memorial wall, though. The snipe seems quiet, looking thoughtful in her drifting. She seems to be glancing at the ceiling, as if checking for something every so often. She notices Cidra and slows, offering quietly: "Hello sir."

Cidra's head turns, from the pictures to the snipe. "Hello, Wolfe." The barest hint of a smile is offered. The woman is not one for particularly expressive smiles. This one does touch her cloudy blue eyes, though. "How does the day find you?"

Sofia glances to the pictures briefly, before looking back to Cidra. She smiles a little. It's a contrast - she wears her heart on her sleeve and seems to express nearly every quirk that comes to thought. "Well enough. Confused and sad…" She admits quietly, furrowing her brows. "But I guess that's how it is. How're you sir?" She peers over.

"Confused and sad. So we all…" Cidra murmurs, nodding a little to that. "I am better now than I was the week past. And that is no small thing. I did hear you were part of the team that took to the Cylon facility. You are all right, yes?" There is real concern underlying her composed tone.

Sofia nods at that, she sighs softly. "I heard um, something kind of bad happened. I'm glad you're a bit better. And I was," Sofia confirms. "I'm fine. Sergeant Eleftherios got shot though, and that Corporal that keeps getting mauled by animals that never really talks to me… they weren't knocked out," So nothing really bad if no one even lost consciousness. "But… while it blew up, that Cylon lady helped us. It was all really strange."

"I had to trade the lives of some very good people for this ship," Cidra replies, as to Sofia's vague 'something bad.' Might as well come out and say it. "I will carry their names in my heart, and bear them along as I can." The way she says it implies there's a meaning deeper than the words. But she does not dwell upon it. "Mauled by animals…?" Blink blink. "Well…unfortunate boy. I thank the gods they returned to the ship safely. All of my pilots did as well, following our last engagement with the Cylons. So there is that blessing. Sometimes it costs, sometimes it does not." Mention of the Cylon lady brings a slim frown to her features. Though it's more pensive than anything else.

Sofia tilts her head, "That is pretty rough." This she admits quietly. It's a foreign idea to her, the distance of command. She nods at the animals comment. "We were lucky. And the Marines had some crazy firepower. Even a rocket launcher. One of the Cylons had dog tags… he woke up and helped us, then - er, deactivated himself." She looks a bit sad. "I wonder why," She doesn't seem to understand. "It's all really weird how it worked out. But I'm glad it did." It's nice to be on the offensive for once. Although, she pauses at the faint frown and pensive look. "I'm not sure you really want to hear me ramble on though." She blushes and looks abashed. There's a look to the wall. "I'm just - confused. I don't know why I'm sad about it."

Cidra makes no answer to the 'rough' part. Her own eyes going back to the wall as she listens to the younger woman talk. "Ramble as you like, Wolfe. Sometimes that is how we make sense of things. Or try to." A little nod to the last. "I do know what you mean. Confused. About the abomina…the Cylon. The one we held on this ship, and the…copy of it you and yours came across in that facility, I do think." A pause and she asks, "What do you make of it? The Cylon. All of it." There's a searching quality to her question. She really does want to know the crewman's mind in this.

Sofia listesn to Cidra a moment, then tilts her head. "Well. She sacrificed herself for us on that ship. At least, she helped us blow it up. And left some information for us. She told us she realized what they were doing was awful… and she wanted to try to make up for it. Don't get me wrong, being zapped with weaponized radiation and probably unable to have kids sucks, but-" Sofia pauses. "It's strange she felt bad and was fairly kind otherwise. She liked art. I left her a sketchbook," She considers. "Honestly it's the most confusing thing ever. Cylons that look like people, love people, hate people. I should despise her. I know that. But after she helped us so, it's - she wasn't mean…" She is baffled. "What's wrong with me? I can't really hate her after all that." Frown. She takes a deep breath. "It's a lot to make of and I suspect it's only going to get more confusing than 'see toaster, shoot toaster' you know?" Turning the question back. It's a torn sadness. "I mean… she liked /art/. Art is supposed to be a divine thing or a person thing." Not so much a toaster thing.

"The copy of it sacrificed itself for me and my pilots in a Raptor not a day before," Cidra says, tone still soft. Contemplative. And as confused as Sofia, underlying it. "It asked us to trust it. To put ourselves in its hands as we flew, if we were to survive the day. And I…I hated it. I hate those abominations so…but I did it. It was not rational. I did not even have faith that its motives were true. But I…gambled. And it saved us all." And she has no clue what to make of it. "I do not now why either, Wolfe. But you and I, and my pilots, and your Marine friends…we are alive because of it. In a better position than we were a week last. And…I cannot say what that means, but that is no small thing."

Blink. Aw. Sofia looks thoughtful, sad. "She was the one who helped set the self destruct up for us," She admits. "And took herself with it. She said something about her God, but -" She seems baffled. Just ONE God? Yikes. "I don't know. That seems pretty intense though," Her eyes are a bit wide. Poor Cidra. She can only imagine the fear and loss of control. "It really isn't," She agrees. Sofia takes a deep breath. "I just can't bring myself to hate her," She blinks fast. "I'm actually kinda sad." They shared /art/ after all. "But it's not like it was before. Guess the only way to know is to take it as it comes." She smiles weakly. "I feel kind of bad though. Crewman Coll wanted to shoot her right then and there but…" She trails off.

Cidra shudders some herself at mention of the 'one God.' She bites off something under her breath in something that definitely isn't Colonial Standard. It's hard to tell if it's a prayer or a curse. Or some mix of both. But to the rest, she just nods. "I cannot hate it, either." It is admitted very softly. Like she's afraid to say it aloud. Afraid to admit it. Even to herself. "Take it as it comes…that is wisdom, Wolfe. So say we all." That seems to be all she has to say as well. With a small inclination of her head to Sofia she steps away from the wall. Down the corridor, off to some business or other.

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